tIM's podcast

Let’s start with a nice decadent appetizer -

Isn’t that the most sensual piece of fish in the world?

The Vajayjay{******} is a beautiful *******.

Just as I see phallic symbols everywhere, I see vaginas everywhere in nature.

Pretty clittys

And not so much…

And a tight vajayjay is a good vajayjay.

Tight is right.

Regular exercise is essential to stay fit, toned and fuckable.

My Lady must take great pride in keeping her ***** nice.

Dude, if I could, I’d eat there myself.

Her vajayjay must be sweet smelling, freshly waxed - and TIGHT.

There’s NO excuse for a poorly maintained *****. None.

She must have an IRON **** and I must appreciate it.

You’d be amazed at the number of my male friends who tell me how their wives or girlfriends are so loose that it’s like ******* a bucket – they can’t feel the sides.

It’s beyond my comprehension.

Because, you know you can kegel anywhere.

You can squeeze while you’re on the bus, stuck in traffic, watching TV, writing frikken Christmas cards…

I kegel every hour on the hour - about 200 squeezes a day. “Oh look at the time - ..”

Take-offs and landings are good for her too, sitting in the jump seat and squeezing her love muscle. Maintaining a neutral facial expression is essential though if she`s squeezing in public places.

Squeezes make her ***** happy.

She don’t have to leave the ******* BUILDING. She can multitask.

She don’t need an exercise room, gym membership or expensive equipment.

She must love her Ben Wah balls. They must be nicely weighted and roooooolll around.

Having strong vajayjay muscles makes a huge difference to the intensity of ****** for both parties. I can get off just by squeezing…with the help of my ben wah balls.

Women lose significant muscle tone after childbirth and pelvic floor exercises are taught to restore vaginal elasticity and maintain bladder control.

She must do her exercises to enhance her pleasure - and that of my partner’.

She must piss herself when she`s drunk on tequila…

She must piss herself laughing…

But she must never piss herself when I SNEEZE!

Gesundheit!!!